(a working guide for people who used to thrive and now just want to feel okay again)
There’s a certain kind of tired that doesn’t go away after a long weekend.
The kind of tired that makes you stare at a sentence three times and still not know what it says.
The kind that turns your day into a blur of tabs, half-thoughts, and silent dread.
You still show up.
You still hit deadlines.
But somewhere along the way, the why stopped making sense.
You used to care, deeply.
Now you’re just trying to get through the next 90 minutes without opening your phone again.
When I hit that point, I didn’t question the work.
I questioned myself.
Was I lazy ? Distracted?
It wasn’t any of those.
It was misalignment – from being in the wrong role.
Somewhere in the middle of trying to stay competent, I had slowly and almost invisibly drifted away from my purpose.
And I didn’t notice until it was gone.
What Mismatch Feels Like (When It’s Not Just Overwhelm)
You might think you’re just tired.
You find yourself procrastinating more than usual.
You start a task, then reflexively reach for your phone.
You notice your attention slipping, enough to miss things you used to track without thinking.
You assume it’s stress. Too many requests. No room to think.
Not every hard task is a growth opportunity.
Some things are just fundamentally misaligned with how you’re wired to think, create, or contribute.
That’s what makes mismatch hard to recognize. You’re used to handling hard things, and misalignment just feels like a normal Tuesday.
You can do the work. So you assume you should.
But deep down, a resistance starts to build.
The slow, persistent sense that this isn’t the kind of effort that makes you feel like you.
I know that feeling.
For me, it showed up in the form of deeply technical work. Things I could do, but didn’t want to live inside.
I kept pushing through, thinking I was just in a slump. I wasn’t. I was succeeding at something that no longer fit.
Why the Fixes Don’t Work
When things start to feel off, high-functioning people usually do what they’ve always done: solve the problem.
You reorganize your task list.
You restructure your calendar.
You try to block off time for deep work.
Maybe you even take a few days off, hoping space will help.
But none of it sticks — and that’s when the doubt creeps in.
You wonder if you’re the problem.
Here’s what I’ve learned:
When the real issue is a mismatched role, tactical fixes don’t move the needle.
They just help you endure the wrong thing a little more efficiently.
I tried all of it:
Lists, planning, asking for help.
I ultimately didn’t need better time management, I needed out of the role I was stuck in.
What Actually Helped
Here’s what helped me:
- Delegation. Offloading tasks and more importantly releasing the pressure to be good at everything. Letting someone else own what I was never meant to carry.
(We unpack this more in the Delegation Audit].) - Finding allies. People who weren’t trying to tear me down or assign more work — just willing to say, “Yeah, that’s a lot. I can help.”
- Taking action. Cataloging the tasks the drained me, gravitating towards the one that gave me energy.
- Clarifying a north star. A direction that reminded me what mattered to me, not just what I was responsible for.
These steps helped me to stop optimizing the wrong life and start building one I could actually live inside.
If You’re in it Right Now
If you’re reading this and something in you is nodding yes, this is a signal that something no longer fits, and you’ve been enduring it anyway.
It won’t require upending up your life or taking a three-month sabbatical to find yourself again.
You can start noticing where your energy is draining and take one step towards fixing the misalignment you’re feeling.